The Ache We Try to Decorate at Christmas

Scot Small

When celebration doesn’t quiet the longing underneath it all

The Ache We Try to Decorate at Christmas - Scot Small

This is the first of a short series of reflections I’ve been sitting with this Christmas season. Enjoy!


Christmas has always stirred something in me, and it’s not just the warm stuff people usually talk about. There’s joy, yes, and nostalgia, but there’s also something heavier that shows up every year whether I’m ready for it or not. A quiet ache that seems to sit just below the surface of all the lights and music.


We’re really good at covering that ache up this time of year.


We stay busy. We lean hard into traditions. We tell ourselves this is just how December feels, that we’re tired, stretched thin, maybe a little emotional. But if we’re honest, that ache feels older than the season. It feels like it’s been around longer than this year, longer than this job, longer than whatever circumstance we’re blaming it on.


I’ve felt it in seasons when, on paper, everything looked good. Work was moving forward. Ministry was active. Family life was full. There wasn’t some obvious crisis or collapse happening behind the scenes. And still, there was this low hum inside me that whispered something wasn’t quite right.


Not wrong exactly. Just incomplete.


It wasn’t rebellion. It wasn’t despair. It was more like realizing I was moving through life efficiently, responsibly, faithfully even, but somehow skimming the surface of something that was meant to be deeper and more rooted. Like checking all the right boxes while quietly wondering why the boxes never seemed to satisfy for very long.


Christmas has a way of exposing that. It slows us just enough to feel what we normally outrun. When the house gets quiet at night, when the celebrations wind down, when the expectations lift for a moment, that ache shows itself again.


And for a lot of us, the instinct is to hurry up and cover it back over.


But what if the ache isn’t something to fix or hide. What if it’s telling us the truth about ourselves.


Christmas doesn’t create the ache. It reveals it. And once you start paying attention, you realize how universal it is. Different stories, different beliefs, different paths, yet the same restlessness keeps surfacing. That alone should tell us something.


The question isn’t whether the ache exists.

The question is why.


I’ll keep walking through this in the next reflection.

Help Us Spread the Word and Share!

By Scot Small May 19, 2026
There is a big difference between knowing about Jesus and actually knowing Jesus. A person can know facts about Him. They can know Bible stories, Christian language, church routines, and even the right answers. They can know that Jesus died on the cross, rose from the grave, and is coming again. But knowing true things about Jesus is not the same as living in relationship with Him. In John 15, Jesus does not say, “Learn more religious information and try harder.” He says, “Abide in me.” That word carries the idea of remaining, staying, dwelling, continuing. Jesus is calling His disciples into a life of ongoing dependence on Him. “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.” That picture matters. A branch does not produce fruit by effort alone. It produces fruit because it is connected to the vine. The life of the vine flows into the branch. Apart from the vine, the branch may still look attached for a while, but it cannot bear lasting fruit. That is one of the quiet dangers in Christian life. We can keep the appearance of connection while slowly drifting from dependence. We can stay busy in ministry, sports, leadership, family, and service, but inwardly we are running on fumes. Jesus does not call that fruitfulness. He calls us back to Himself. Jesus says, “The one who remains in me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without me.” That is not meant to insult us. It is meant to free us. We are not the source. We were never meant to be. For athletes and coaches, this is easy to miss because sports trains us to push harder, compete longer, and produce results. There is a place for discipline, effort, and training. But spiritual fruit is different. You cannot manufacture love, joy, peace, endurance, holiness, humility, courage, or obedience by sheer willpower. Those things grow from union with Christ. This is where obedience has to be understood rightly. Jesus says, “If you keep my commands you will remain in my love.” He is not describing cold religion or fear-based performance. He is describing the natural response of someone who loves Him and trusts Him. Obedience is not how we earn His love. Obedience is one of the ways we remain close to the One who already loves us. That matters because many people either separate love and obedience or confuse them. Some want the comfort of Jesus without surrender. Others try to obey Jesus without resting in His love. Both miss the heart of discipleship. Jesus holds them together. “As the Father has loved me, I have also loved you. Remain in my love.” John 15:9 That is staggering. Jesus is not offering a thin, fragile, emotional kind of love. He says the love He has for His disciples is rooted in the love between the Father and the Son. That means Christian obedience begins in being loved by Christ before it ever becomes action for Christ. Then Jesus says something that should reshape how we think about discipleship: “I have spoken these things to you so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.” John 15:11 Jesus is not trying to shrink our lives. He is not calling us into obedience so we can become miserable religious people. He calls us to abide, obey, love, and bear fruit because He knows where life is found. His commands are not chains. They are the path of life under His rule and care. And the fruit Jesus emphasizes here is love. “This is my command: Love one another as I have loved you.” John 15;12 That means abiding in Jesus cannot remain private. Real connection to Christ becomes visible in how we love people. Not just people who are easy to love. Not just people who help our goals. Not just teammates, leaders, donors, or friends who make life simpler. Jesus says His love becomes the pattern for our love. He loved sacrificially. He moved toward sinners. He served the weak. He corrected the proud. He washed feet. He laid down His life. So the question is not simply, “Do I believe in Jesus?” A deeper question is, “Am I remaining in Him?” Am I depending on Him? Am I receiving His words? Am I obeying His commands? Am I loving people in a way that looks like Him? This is where readiness for Christ’s return begins. Not with speculation. Not with panic. Not with trying to decode every headline. Readiness begins with abiding. A disciple who is abiding in Christ is not passive. They are watchful, prayerful, obedient, humble, and available. They are not perfect, but they are connected to the source of life. They are being pruned by the Father, shaped by the Word, and led into fruitfulness by the Spirit. The Christian life is not about looking attached. It is about remaining in Jesus. And today, before we ask what we need to do for Him, maybe we need to ask whether we are staying close to Him. Are you wondering how you can make difference? Maybe Sports Ministry could be a path for you. Volunteer with Battlefield FCA – Help us disciple the next generation. Become a Monthly Supporter – Fuel the mission that’s changing lives. Pray with us – Identity in Christ is spiritual warfare. We need covering.
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